filtercake

home  |  stuff I made  |  talks  |  try out all the things  |  meet  |  feed

I love you – but

I love you.

We do everything to hear those words.

We walk through deserts, climb mountains and come up with the weirdest kitsch analogies to be loved.

If necessary, we lie and steal to be loved.

We might even ditch somebody who already said the three magic words to us, so we can hear it again from somebody else.

So imagine the person you adored all your life would look you in the eyes and say:

I love you.

Awesome, huh?

And now imagine that person saying to you:

I love you... but...

Sounds like the most terrible thing in the universe. Sounds like "well, i would love you... but..."

Do you know anyone who would want to be told "I love you – but" to their face? Me neither.

And still we do it all the time. Not the telling to their faces, of course. Just the "I love you – but" part.

We argue, we critisize, we fight, we talk behind their backs, searching for bad intent and trying to feel better than they are. Just because they havn't met our expectations. Yeah, we kinda do love them. But...

The thing is, "I love you – but" doesn't really exist. You either love somebody, or you don't. Warts and all.

"I love you – but" is a lame excuse for not going all in. Just in case "it didn't work out". So you can say "I loved him – but". Or in case you "fucked up", so you can say "I loved her – but".

If you really love somebody, do you care about the but? Isn't the initial feeling of love always unconditional?

Shouldn't you be able to wake up tomorrow, leaving yesterday's shit behind and start from scratch? Every day?

Shouldn't you adjust your fucking expectations and feel like the luckiest person on earth because somebody loves you?

And the more haunting question is of course this: if you keep thinking about the but – do you really love that person? Do you even have a clear concept what loving somebody means to you?

Love somebody or don't. "I love you – but" is bullshit.